What is the Purpose of K12 Schools?

The latest buzzphrase is "college and career ready", the idea being that the school's mission is to prepare its pupils for college if they so are so inclined and capable, or else prepare them for a non-"professional" vocational career straight out of high school, such as a painter, carpenter, salesperson, secretary, etc.

The problem with this mindset is manifold. For one, there is almost no vocational training available in today's k12 schools. Vocational schools used to be in vogue in this country years ago, when most people didn't go nor aspired to go to college. Back then it was considered the obvious and practical thing to do. If the student is not going to go to college, then what is the point of the k12 education if not, among other things, to train them for a job?

However, this approach is no longer considered equitable. No child or parent wants to hear "your little Johnny is not college-material and so we're putting him on a vocational track, rather than a liberal arts track", with all the attendant supposed stigma and lower earning potential.

This is why nowadays if you walk in to any middle school or high school, kids are indistinguishable from one another. The expectation is the same of all of them and insofar as they do not attain the same grades and achievements, it's deemed to be due to a lack of studying hard enough, or paying attention in class, etc. It's not deemed to stem from innate factors, such as intelligence, genetics, even socioeconomic conditions beyond the scope of the school.

This is all an illusion, and a costly one at that.

The truth is that all students are NOT the same. Some are capable of achieving a lot more than others. Some simply do not have the capacity of succeeding in any liberal arts setting, period. They are practical. They are artistic. They are concrete. They are kinesthetic. They are athletic. They are sporty. If a student is any of the above types, they loathe the atmosphere and curriculum in today's k-12 schools.

The solution.

The solution is to return to real tracking; not the kind of tracking that groups students based on ability but leaves the curriculum and assessment instruments uniform. We need real substantive differences in the way we teach college-bound individuals vs. non-college bound ones.

In order to do this, we also need to remove the stigma associated with not going to college. Charles Murray (in the book "Real Education") is a great advocate of this and I fully agree with him on it. His estimate is that about 80% of students do not belong in a college-bound track. He is flexible with the cutoff percentage; you may well argue that more students belong in college (which would be bound up with the debate over the level of rigor colleges should demand). One thing is clear, however, he rightfully points out: 50% of students are in fact below average, by definition. And so unless you set the standard really really low, by definition they will be unable to achieve even an "average"-referenced standard.

What can we do to remove the stigma?

At a minimum, what we can do easily in the here and now without much fanfare and revamping of the status quo is to design a different curriculum (and its aligned standards and assessments) for LT (lower-track) students. This means that the "general" students that I teach, for example, shouldn't be expected to learn the same skills and knowledge that the "advanced" kids learn in my school.

If this is done without unduly prominent announcements, then noone will have reason to resist.

How to Restore Discipline to Classrooms

What is the single biggest problem with today's public schools?

Ivory tower academics, from whom educational policies emanate are obsessed with research and data. They are fond of studying problems scientifically by conducting experiments, measuring results, drawing conclusions and then devising a solution. The problem with all this is that those academicians are not in the classroom. True, they are more intelligent and pedagogically proficient than the teachers whom they guide; but they are living in their own bubble of what has been "proven" to be sound.

From the Uncertainty Principle (and also from the Law of Unintended Consequences) we know that it's impossible to observe the environment without the environment being altered in response. The studies hold up in the observational and experimental field, but once applied they affect outcomes in unforeseen and deleterious ways, often to the extent of rendering social programs more harmful than beneficial.

The sad truth is that all of the harping about testing, evaluation of teachers, rigorous standards etc. pales as a significant factor in education in comparison to the one big elephant in the room: children coming to school mentally unprepared to learn. And there's nothing the teacher can do to change the child's mindset since the teacher's mandate is to teach, not to mentally enable the student to learn. Student discipline is almost completely neglected in today's teacher preparation courses, such as the one I attended "Teacher Ready".

What can schools do to restore discipline in the classroom?

First let me say that I categorically condemn the notion that schoolchildren, in general, can be disciplined without any corporal punishment. From my observation and experience in life and in the classroom, I have become convinced that children are not rational creatures, and so adults often (though not always) are unable to reason with them. Adults are simply unable to verbally make a compelling case for them to stop misbehaving. Skinnerian reinforcement (whether positive or negative) works better, but its inherent shortcoming is that whereas it motivates good behavior it does bot deter bad behavior. Deterring bad behavior is far more challenging than inducing good behavior since there are plenty of palpable rewards that a student can envision for getting food grades, for example. But there's often little in the way of a punishing consequence that a child will envisage for, e.g., talking in class.

The only thing left is for educators to administer physical punishment. Bodily punishment is swift (it takes seconds to execute) and has a pronounced and lasting effect on the delinquent student, AND on others present by way of deterrence. Whereas a pep talk must be long and its tone severe to be taken seriously, and even then the student is only under its spell while the event is ongoing -- the effects of physical punishment continue long after the punishment is over, as the child ponders the actions that led to such an adverse consequence.

Here's the type of corporal punishment regimen that I think is demonstrably implementable, even given the prevailing liberal spirit of the day:

At the beginning of the school year, principals (in Florida where paddling is legal) should send out a note and/or corral and orally explain to all parents why he believes that corporal punishment is essential to the success of the school and the child. The principal should take a brave stand by forcefully advocating for its use. Parents would then be asked to permit the school to use corporal punishment on its students without having to notify them first. It would be nice if the principal could give examples of an act or behavioral pattern that would result in corporal punishment, and non-examples of acts and behavior that would not rise to that level.

Principals and AP's will then command much greater respect from students. Teachers should be able to easily refer students to the Principal or AP for such punishment (thought of course they too will be trained on when to exercise such a referral and when not to). Even if such corporal punishment does not occur often, the very awareness on the part of students of its existence as an option will serve as an effective deterrent, possibly even for children of parents who have not opted in to his program.

I also recommend that teachers should be allowed to seize a delinquent student under certain conditions (for example, if the teacher asks a student to identify themselves after running in the hallway and they refuse, and the teacher then directs the student to follow him to the office and the student balks, the teacher should then be allowed to grab the students arm and say "you're coming with me"). I realize that this is a bit more controversial and could prove problematic in our times. It is clearly a notch above the practice of paddling by admins, and so I'm not insistent on its implementation, especially as a first step toward restoring discipline in schools.

REVIEW of Shulem Deen's book "All who go there do not return".

Shulem Deen’s book is arguably the best in the OTD memoir genre yet. Shalkom Auslander’s “Foreskin’s Lament” is possibly better but that’s meant to be more literary while Deen’s is a true memoir. Vincent’s “Cut me Loose” cannot hold a candle to this book and Feldman’s “Unorthodox” is comparable but probably no more than a close second overall. Here’s where Deen does exceptionally well:

He has a compelling story to tell. He grew up in Borough Park in an oddball household and studied in Williamsburg and Montreal for a while before settling in marriage in New Square. He has a very wide persepctive and a breadth of experiences --and, of course, the transition from Haredism to secularism—to bring to bear in his account.

Deen does a remarkably good job in selecting episodes from his life that are interesting, and not overwhelming us with narratives and asides that are not germane. I give him also an A++ in his pacing/timing of the stories. He starts off with his expulsion from New Square, he then flashes back and brings us up to date a bit and then vacilates back and forth in chronology, just enough to keep readers on their balls, but NOT confusing us. This is terrific!

Veracity/candidness: unlike other books in this genre, some of which masquerade as OTD memoir but are practically fiction, Deen’s account rings remarkably true AND candid. I get the impression that he’s able to probe the deepest abyss of his psyche to elicit emotions and reconstruct the memory of events that were profoundly meaningful to him in his transformation. This is essential for a story to be engaging, relevant and credible. Feldman’s second book and Vincent’s book fail spectacularly in this regard.

When I read how Deen “did not lose in court. Instead, I lost my children’s hearts, and with them, very nearly, my sanity”, I empathized so much I wanted to cry.

Now to the flaws. Broadly speaking the problem with this book is not the content, narrative or truthfulness; it’s vocabulary and grammar. He falls short in many areas of grammar. Now some people might consider this nitpicking. If these were isolated instances, I would give him a pass. But when these peccadillos recur in such regular fashion again and again, it becomes fairly annoying. I am compelled to pause reading and notice his solecisms and wonder what he means and why he chooses to write this way.

1. 1)      Tense. The book is written mostly in the past perfect tense. It’s not “he said”; it’s “he had said”. As I am reading, I am antispiating the action to come, but it never comes. It’s as if he’s setting up the scene by telling us about all the events that preceded the big event, but the big event never comes. Actually, it does come. The Epilogue is finally written in the past tense. If he meant it this way on purpose, that’s inexplicable to me. Otherwise, he should learn how to use tenses and aspects correctly.
2. 2)      Punctuation. He virtually never uses the dash to interrupt or set off portions of long sentences; and he uses the semicolon sparingly. When he wants to start indicate a pause he will put a period and then start off with a sentence fragment. Some of this may be a conscious literary decision (I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt). But it was disturbing to me and interrupted the flow.
3. 3)      Diction (word choice). In dozens of instances throughout the book, the author chooses obscure words, often in dubious context. He talks, for example about a teacher with a “cantilivered arm”, a “buggy” (I thought only the British do that), about passersby who don’t bother to “snigger”, about vulgar “sartorial” habits, about the Talmudic “digest” (which means a synopsis, except that the Talmud isn’t one), a “halcyon” (which means reminiscent of sweet old days, except that the author never had such days in his Borough Park youth), façade of a two-car garage, a “catatonic” depression, a battered “divan” (divans are not used among Hasidim), legalistic “arcana”, and –this is my favorite— about how one Hasid is the “Savonarola of the Hasidic world”. Really??? Do you or any of your readers even know this character? It seems that the author is sometimes using fancy words to feel good about himself and/or try to impress, but it actually detracts from the narrative. He has a very compelling story; there’s no need for ostentation. All those arcane words, make me pause to think why and how he’s using them, and I’m befuddled.
4. 4)      Hebrew (and Yiddish) transliteration. His transliteration from Hebrew to English is TERRIBLE! I am pretty certain that some of this is done deliberately, perhaps to show the actual Hasidic dialect of Hebrew, which diverges from standard Israeli Hebrew. Nevertheless, he goes way too far in bastardizing many words, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what literary value this can possible hold. Here are some examples from the book: “Eynglish” (English), Shaygetz (Sheigetz), rezemay, (resume), mertzeshem (im yirtzeh hashem). There are many, many more! He’s entirle inconsistent too. For all his contrived effort to represent the Yiddish accent, he fails on “Halt arois di hant” for example. It should be “arows”.
5. 5)      Does the author not know how and when to use the subjective mood? In numerous places, he uses “was” when it should be “were”. One example: After our fourth, I tried again to reason with her, but Gitty protested that she would feel naked if she WASN’T either pregnant or pushing a baby stroller. Since Gitty IS in fact pregnant or pushing a stroller, it is a hypothetical and should be “were”.
6. 6)      “Or” instead of “nor”. I don’t see the point (if there is any) of using “or” when it should be “nor”. One example: “I had never had gin, or tonic…”.
7. 7)      I noticed many additional grammar mistakes, as well as atleast two typos. I am a bit surprised that the publisher didn’t review and correct some of the more blatant mistakes. Example: Often I would end up in Greenwich Village, strolling the leafy streets, gazing at its nineteenth-century row houses and NYU campus buildings, observing the vibrant nightlife around MacDougal and Thompson and Bleecker, and IMAGINE [should be “imagining”] a different life.

Rosy-cheeked and plump, she was vivacious and quick with an eager laugh. She had more friends than Gitty and I could keep track of. “Oh, hello there, nice of you to visit again,” I’d say to whatever [better: whomever, or whichever] friend Freidy brought home on Sunday afternoons, imagining it to be the same as the little girl who came last week, and Freidy would hiss at me desperately, “This is a different one!”

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3092-3095). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Whether it was the ultimatum itself, or the realization of how much this truly mattered to me, Gitty finally relented. If I could find a “real” rabbi— not some English-speaking, clean-shaven, university-degree-holding one, but one close enough to our kind— she would accept a dispensation, if it was [were] granted.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3118-3120). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

At fourteen, I tried to set down the outlines of my autobiography— I imagined I’d fill it in over the years. Throughout my years in yeshiva, instead of Talmud [Talmudic] commentaries, the traditional obsession of an aspiring young rabbinical student, I wrote pages and pages of philosophical musings in florid rabbinic Hebrew.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3277-3279). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The Internet might have become the real culprit for corrupting minds, but the television had been, for decades, de tumeneh keili [de tumeneh kaileh, or kayleh]. The profane vessel. So abhorrent that many would not even utter its name.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3402-3404). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Often I would end up in Greenwich Village, strolling the leafy streets, gazing at its nineteenth-century row houses and NYU campus buildings, observing the vibrant nightlife around MacDougal and Thompson and Bleecker, and imagine [imagining] a different life.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3512-3513). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I would order a drink I had seen in the movies. “Gin and tonic,” I’d say to the bartender, as if I’d been drinking it all my life. I had never had gin, or [nor] tonic, but it sounded like something one might order in a bar.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3530-3531). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

But there was no question of making any of the young men suffer any consequences. [Technically a correct expression, meaning that the young men would definitely NOT suffer any consequences; I dislike this expression due its easy confusion with “there was no question that…” and there’s no question but…”]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 2745). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Chezky lowered his voice. “It’s called Beethoven.” “It’s about music?” [why not add: I asked] “No, no, no, it’s about a dog. The dog’s name is Beethoven. This family adopts him, after a bunch of puppies get stolen— it’s hard to explain, you have to see it yourself.”

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2769-2772). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

And so I couldn’t help but [omit “but”, as the author himself writes elsewhere: And I couldn’t help wonder: If it was so well known, why did I not know it? Did it have another name, maybe? Was I allowed to ask?] wonder: Who was right, my father or my teachers?

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 971). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Unable to let go, we would still be arguing long after the neighbors could be heard singing the Sabbath hymns through their wide-open windows, eating their sautéed liver and p’tcha, [what’s this? Why is there an apostrophe in it?] their chulent and kishke, and then retiring for their Sabbath afternoon naps.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2936-2938). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I would imagine these conversations, but I would not have them. That’s not want [typo: what] they want to hear, I would say to myself.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3000-3001). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

You cannot speak of it because if you do, you will be like the lunatic who prophesies end-of-times doom and gloom, or like the one heralding some New Age brand of salvation and redemption. Passersby can barely be bothered to snigger [very rare word; what does it mean? What’s wrong with snicker?].

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3036-3037). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

After our fourth, I tried again to reason with her, but Gitty protested that she would feel naked if she wasn’t [weren’t] either pregnant or pushing a baby stroller. “People will look at me funny,” she said, and I sympathized. Who wants to be looked at funny?

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3081-3082). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“Doesn’t matter. Wherever’s easiest.” After a moment, he says, “Near home, you know, at the corner is fine.” As if he doesn’t want to trouble me to go all the way. [why the sentence fragment? what’s wrong with “corner is fine, as if…”?]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4899-4900). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Ata sakum terachem tziyon. Raise up and have mercy upon Zion. Ki va mo’ed. Ki va mo’ed. Ki va mo’ed. For the time has come. For the time has come. For the time has come. [which dialect is he transcribing in to? Modern Hebrew would be “atta takum terahem tziyon”, Ashkenazic/Lithuanian Hebrew would be “atto sokum terahem tziyon”, Polish/Hungarian Hasidic Hebrew would be “attu sukim terahaym tziyoyn”].

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4735-4737). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

These small moments would evoke feelings I did not know were possible, a kind of grief that would, at times, strike me with such force that it would impair my daily function, throwing me for hours, days, into a nearly catatonic depression [“catatonic”? as in “can’t move”? really? Find a different word, please].

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4747-4749). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I would often think of Gitty and the hardships of raising five children alone, and I’d feel badly [feel badly? Try again! Feel bad] for her, and then I would feel angry. She was raising five children alone, but she didn’t have to, not the way she had chosen.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4767-4768). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

When I heard, in 2012, that she had remarried, to a good man, a pious and kind Hasid, a scribe who made his living writing sacred ritual texts— Torahs, tefillin, mezuzahs— and who took my sons to the synagogue on Shabbos and treated them kindly, I hoped that it would allow Gitty to forgive me for some of the pain I had caused her. [what a sanctimonious prude! How about simply: it would allow Gitty to overcome the pain she had endured breaking up with me]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4768-4770). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

A man with long flowing white hair in a colorful unbuttoned shirt sat at the head of the trail to the main campsite. He stared at us unself-consciously [what does this mean? Did you simply read it in a book and liked the way it sounded?], with his sagging abdomen and his chest of white hair.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4778-4779). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“Why doesn’t he want to come?” I asked, the message like a blunt knife scraping against my skin, causing a minor bruise, annoying but bearable. [what is annoying is this very simile. When does a blunt knife ever scrape against your skin? How many blunt knives do you even have?] It is what I’ve come to expect.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4867-4868). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Gitty and I were trying to sell our home in Monsey, but with the downturn of the housing market, it couldn’t be appraised for more [should be: it could be appraised for no more than…] than three-quarters of what we owed on the mortgage, which was soon foreclosed. [what was foreclosed? The mortgage?]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4601-4603). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

My father, however, did not appear to me in dreams. Or at least not in the way the rabbi meant it, as an apparition [an apparition, i.e. a shadow/ghost does NOT appear at someone’s bedside in a dream. In fact apparitions can only be recognized as such while awake; while asleep, one can’t distinguish between real essence and apparitions] at my bedside with secrets from another world.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4673-4674). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Now thirteen and ferociously bright, she showed the stubbornness of an ox and the indifference of an alley cat. [difficult simile: an ox doesn’t strike me as ferocious, nor an alley cat as indifferent]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 4439). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“Has anyone been saying bad things about me?” Akiva shook his head vigorously, while Chaya Suri’s lids [why not “eyelids”?] turned red around her large glassy eyes. [what are “glassy” eyes, and how do they differ from un-glassy eyes?] Only Hershy looked me in the eye, and said, “Mommy says you want to turn us into goyim.”

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 4508-4510). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Duly chastised, I began to rethink my strategy. I was a Hasidic boy, and I realized that I could be nothing else. I had been shown up for my hubris [hubris? Really? How does a 13 year-old’s defensive strike against a teacher constitute hubris, i.e. invincibility?], and what I wanted most now was acceptance. I wanted back at the yeshiva.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3921-3923). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The area we moved to, a hilly road studded with one-story ranch houses and modest colonials, looked like any other suburban neighborhood in Rockland County: backyard swimming pools shaded by dogwoods and Japanese maples, manicured hedgerows along property edges, front lawns so green they seemed almost painted. Behind the halcyon [what’s so halcyon, i.e. nostalgic, about a Monsey house if you’ve never experienced one before?] facade of two-car garages and well-maintained landscaping, however, were attitudes not much different from those of New Square.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3938-3941). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I remember parting from Leiby that day, lost in my thoughts, a powerful pang of envy hitting me. Leiby’s desire to join the army had struck me as fancifully adolescent, but college was a different matter. I had encouraged him, partly driven by my own wistfulness [why not “longing”?] for the opportunity. Now that his plans were taking shape, I couldn’t help thinking about myself.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3686-3689). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I remember how, facing the girls from across the table, Akiva held up the edge [does the author mean “the end”?] of one of his ritual fringes and brushed it lightly into Hershy’s ear. Hershy, startled, slapped his ear with the back of his hand, as if to drive away an insect.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3708-3709). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The call to appear before the bezdin [what’s wrong with “bes din”?] came several days after Leiby’s departure.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3720-3721). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

On the day that the call came from the bezdin, I had a conversation with Leiby’s brother-in-law, Yossi Pal. I had been driving [why not the simpler: I was driving] down Bush Lane in my Honda Odyssey, a block from my home, when Yossi, walking home from the kollel with his blue-and-gold velvet prayer-shawl pouch under his arm, was walking toward me [should be: walked toward me]. Our eyes met as I drove. His eyebrows went up in a flash of recognition, and he waved for me to stop.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3730-3733). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I nodded, and he looked at me as if trying to discern [you discern colors or physical stimuli. Not whether something is worth doing or not. Why not “determine” instead?] whether this conversation was really worthwhile.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 3736). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

But Leiby was nineteen, an adult. The army would’ve taken him, if he’d followed through, sent him out into the world to make decisions about life and death, and to place his own life in jeopardy. [sentence is unclear. Is it to make decisions about placing his own life in jeopardy? Preferable rewrite: The army would’ve taken him --if he’d followed through-- sent him out into the world to place his life in jeopardy, and to make decisions about life and death.]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3766-3767). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The adults hadn’t shaped up their act. My father hadn’t gotten himself better, and my mother hadn’t been much help, either. Before she had [add: had] time to follow through on her threats of divorce, my father had died, leaving our family in a state of turmoil.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 3849-3851). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“Why are you dressed like a shaygetz?” he asked. [“shaygetz” MAY be correct if the author means to render the word in the Hasidic Yiddish dialect, in which case shay- rhymes with pie. Even then “shaigetz” would be better. However, I don’t see any reason why the dialect is relevant here. The standard transliteration of Hebrew שגץ should be “sheigetz” (akin to “sheitel”)[.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1090-1091). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

It was then that I noticed: a Yid! He was sitting in the driver’s seat of a car parked several yards away. He appeared to be a Litvak, with his thick, short payess [Bad transliteration. Better: peyos] tucked behind his ears, white shirt with no tallis katan [if you’re gonna render into Hasidic Yiddish, why not tallis kuten? Tallis katan is neither fish nor fowl. Modern Hebrew is “tallit katan”, Ashkenazi Hebrew is “tallis koton”] over it.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1324-1326). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

After purchasing what I thought was a suitable style, I brought the tie home and called to Gitty to have a look. I removed it ceremoniously from the store’s plastic bag, and held it across both hands, resplendent in its gradations of soft blue and gray. [“held it across both hands” makes no sense (since the tie doesn’t cross the hands). Also, modifier is misplaced: what is resplendent, hands or tie? It should be: “held it -- resplendent in its gradations of soft blue and gray-- across my body with both hands”]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2528-2530). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Around me, men in smart suits and women in tight skirts and fashionable heels strode purposefully between buildings, a corporate sheen reflecting off the many revolving doors. Stern, uniformed men looked out from behind security desks, guarding the entrances to these [“those” would be better, due to the author’s distnace and unfamiliarity with the object] palaces of capitalism.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2548-2550). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

My mother stood in a nearby doorway, in her arms my infant son, swathed [bad verb. What’s wrong with “wrapped”, or “swaddled”] in layers of white ruffles and lace under the gold-embroidered inscription: Elijah, angel of the covenant, behold, yours has come before you.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2581-2583). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

As custom dictated, the rebbe would be handing out cake and wine after prayers. The crowd, the entire student bodies of both the yeshiva and the kollel, were here for the cake. My own family celebration, elaborate with culinary delights as it would be, was subordinate to the greater, more significant event: commemorating the death of the old sage Reb Hershele of Skvyra. [Too much tense-shifting confuses the reader. Try “My own family celebration, though elaborate with culinary, was subordinate…”.]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2601-2603). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

It began with the shulem zucher on Friday night, when men gathered to eat fruits and boiled chickpeas and great quantities of roasted peanuts in their shells, which they would crack open and pile high on the table, on the chairs, on the floor, and drag fistfuls [how does one drag fistfuls with their shoes?] stuck to their shoes as they went back out into the night, tipsy on too many Heinekens.

The vach nacht followed, during which the father stayed up all night and studied Torah, while men— friends, strangers, all were welcome— sat around eating gefilte fish and kugel and drinking great quantities of Old Williamsburg whiskey and leaving even greater piles of peanut shells for the women to clean up after [“thereafter”, an adverb, would be the correct word here, not a preposition.]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2615-2617). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Around me, some men called, “Mazel tov, Reb Shulem, mazel tov!” I smiled in return, wished them mertzeshem bei dir [is it THAT terrible to transliterate correctly: “im yirtzeh hashem”, or something similar? Why the need to butcher this phrase?]— your own celebrations, too, if God wills it. Maybe this wasn’t all so bad.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2662-2664). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Amrom Pollack was a quiet man from across the street, several years younger than I. [what’s wrong with “younger than him”?]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 2730). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

It was a balmy night in mid-autumn [what is it with “autumn”? “fall” is standard in the U.S. Why the compelling urge to confuse people by introudcing another term?], the night of Shmini Atzeres, at the end of the Sukkos holiday.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 1763). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“FUCKING HASIDICS!” I froze. I’d heard tales of this. From the very beginning, when the village was founded, there were those who sought trouble, and cries would ring through the village: “Shkutzim!” Vermin. Non-Jewish hoodlums. There would be violence, lessons taught, fists and blows and broken bones [violence by whom? Fist and blows by whom against whom? Why the ambiguity?], the meek sensibilities of our ancestors making way for a people who no longer looked away in the face of aggression. I had just such an incident before me now, and I stood facing it alone.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1780-1782). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Yeedel [standard spelling is “Yidel”] Israel stood at one end of our dorm room polishing his shoes, and Sender Davidovitch sat on his bed clipping his toenails.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1864-1865). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

All that is new is forbidden by the Torah, said the Chasam Sofer, an Austrian rabbi far from Hasidism’s Polish and Ukrainian origins. His principles had no connection to Hasidic teachings and, in a sense, ran counter to them. Hasidism, when firs formed in the mid-eighteenth century, had come to liberate the Jewish people from a worldview ossified under centuries of legalistic arcana. [“arcanum” meaning “secret, mystery” doesno’t belong here, though it is an “arcane” andimpressive word. Would the author write “…centuries of legal mysteries”?]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1905-1906). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The teachings of Hasidism, many realized, were quickly becoming irrelevant in the face of the devastation wrought by the Enlightenment movement [au contraire: hasidism was attractive to many as a way of retaining yiddishkeit in an enlightened era], and so Hasidim rallied around the Chasam Sofer’s battle cry and rushed to carry his standard.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1911-1912). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Bans on media and popular entertainment keep away temptation. And so the Hasidim are spared the calamities [“calamity”, now that’s a strong word, try something milder] of modernity.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1922-1923). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

It was true. The prohibition against radio listening was not one of the 365 biblical prohibitions, for which the theoretical punishment [difficult usage of “theory”. A theory is an idea that explains phenomena; a better word here would be “designated punishment” or “specificed punishment”] ranged from lashes to the death penalty to extirpation. It was not even a truly rabbinic one, as it was not mentioned in the Talmud.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1930-1931). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I returned several times to that set of encyclopedias, and the children’s librarian, a pleasant middle-aged woman, began to notice me and smile when I entered. Suddenly, I felt self-conscious: a grown Hasidic man sitting each day on the tiny orange chair at the green-and-yellow tables. So I moved on, hesitantly, to the adult sections upstairs, where the encyclopedias were heavier and denser, with fewer illustrations, the different sections like a maze in which the purpose was not to find the way out but to linger and stroll into each dead end and to gather as many treasures as possible along the way. [difficult simile; does not evoke any real image. What kind of maze has its purpose to linger and stroll in it?]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2043-2045). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

She turned a deep shade of crimson. [what color is crimson and what color is a “deep shade” of it? Do you mean red? Did she really turn into that?] “That’s why the Internet is so bad!”

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 2126). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

… yiss-borach, ve-yish-tabach, ve-yiss-po’er, v-yiss-romem [v-yiss-romam], ve-yiss-naseh, praised, glorified, and exalted be the name of kudsha brich hu. [if the author is so intent on rendering words in their Yiddish accent, why not “kidshu brich, hi”. Inconsistency is annoying].

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2148-2149). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

He stood facing a wall, his open prayer book resting on the ledge of a shelf. [how is this different from a prayer book resting on the shelf, or “the edge of the shelf”? Shelves don’t HAVE ledges, they ARE ledges if you inclined to see them as such or if you insist on using an impressive word].

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2146-2147). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Could one possibly provide evidence for the giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai? For the crossing of the Red Sea? I couldn’t imagine it, but if it was [“were”, since this is a hypothetical at this point] possible, as Chezky claimed, then wouldn’t it only strengthen my faith?

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2277-2278). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

But I never disabled the radio. I either procrastinated or I forgot or perhaps I thought it useful to have in case of emergency. Still, we never switched it on, allowing it to serve only as a phantom [what is phantom (i.e. the an appearance of something, without substance) about this radio?] decadent presence in our otherwise pure and pious home.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1946-1948). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Secular influences were such anathema [anathema is something that you ban and completely dissociate from. It’s difficult to talk about “influences” that are anathema] to our lives that the presence of the radio on the kitchen table, right next to the silver Sabbath candlesticks my mother had just cleared off the dining-room table, was jarring [if your mother had just cleared it off the table, how can the radio be “right next to” it? Better wording would be “…next to the spot wherefrom (or “from which”) my mother had…”]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1956-1957). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The dial seemed to hiss and beckon in a seductive whisper: I’ve got news for you. [how does a dial seem to beckon? Really?]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1969-1970). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

If one doubted that the word of God was indeed the word of God, if none of it was [“were” is preferable] true, then one would, logically, have to become frei, which was as bad as being a goy, and what kind of life would that be?

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2297-2298). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

In later years, I would see Avremel as a caricature of religious fanaticism, a Savonarola [who is this? Does his image really come to mind when you see Avremel? Somehow I doubt it] of the Hasidic world; but at the time, I idolized him.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 623-624). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

…scores of young men would squeeze into Avremel’s small dining room and sit around his table or on the battered divan [divan is a sofa without a back or armrest –not common among Hasidim. Are you sure that’s what you mean?] by the wall or cross-legged on the floor.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 627-628). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“And you shall enter the ark, you and your sons, and your wife and your son’s wives,” he read from the Bible [why not “Biblical”?] text.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 747-748). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“A wife isn’t a friend.” Avremel shook his head emphatically. “Eizer kenegdo,” he said, quoting Genesis. “A wife is to be a helpmate [what’s a helpmate?]. Your friends will still be your fellow students.”

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 650-651). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Hebrew music by a male singer came out of the tinny [what’s “tinny”?] speakers, and someone hit the Stop button in disgust.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 933-934). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

If the singer was [were] female, that would’ve been something else, but it wasn’t, and the cassette was ejected with disappointment.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 934-935). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Why else would they discard their long black coats and wide-brimmed black hats for the vulgar sartorial habits [sartorial sounds stilted; why not “...the vulgar apparel”] of common Americans?

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 938). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The sight of my father, a tall Hasidic man in a fur shtreimel, a caftan down to his calves [are you looking at him from behind? Otherwise, why not ”down to his shin”], and white stockings, brought silence to the room.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 956-957). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The non-Jews in our neighborhood, the Talyayners and Portrikaners, [the exact way of pronouncing words, which isn’t indicated in the text anyway, doesn’t add to the story. Why corrupt these words so badly?] seemed to reinforce that view.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 989-990). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Thou shalt not walk in the ways of other nations, we read in the Bible. This, our rebbes explained, meant that we should not play baseball, wear Western-style clothes [why not “goyish”, or “non-Jewish” or “gentile”, since the prohibition isn’t explicitly on western-style clothes], or sport popular hairstyles.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 999-1000). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“Thou shalt utterly detest it, and thou shalt utterly abhor it, for it is a cursed thing.” [Incorrect translation. Should be “abomination”, “disgust”, or something similar]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 998). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I remember frustrating visits to our local supermarket, where I would gaze at blood-red tomatoes and football-shaped green grapes [why the hyperbole?], and my mother would wave her hand dismissively: “If you only knew the chemicals they put in those things.”

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1032-1033). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

My parents had spent their youths not in the ultra-religious word [typo: world] of the Hasidim but in secular environments, where they were raised not with fur hats and flowing caftans and floral kerchiefs but with movies and boyfriends and secular educations.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1038-1040). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I would realize later that my parents had joined the Hasidic world with knowledge of only its pious exterior. They found its teachings profound. So much love. So much joy. Such inner peace. In their idealism, they overlooked its harsher realities. They hadn’t grown up in this world, hadn’t seen the gruff attitudes [gruff, meaning “rough, brusque or surly” is not an attiude, it’s a manner, i.e. a temporary disposition. This word is dubious here. Also why the plural, “attitudes”?] with which children were raised, hadn’t been subject to schoolteachers who routinely beat students for not knowing the meaning of an Aramaic word in their Talmuds, or for removing their fingers from the tiny text of the Rashi script in the margins.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1054-1058). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Our interactions felt dictated, most of all, by the laws of family purity, the fear of forbidden contact hovering over us at all times. [recommend: put semicolon or double dash after “purity”.]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1123-1124). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

A woman’s hair is nakedness, says the Talmud, and so, once married, she must never expose any of it. [“ervah” should better be translated as “lascivious/erotic”. For example, in qol beisha ervah, the voice of a woman is ervah, “ervah” cannot be construed as nakedness.]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1136-1137). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

During the last of her seven clean days, Gitty would take the set of electric clippers from above our bathroom sink and shear [why “shear”, what’s wrong with “shave”?] with her entire head, leaving only several millimeters of growth, though even I, her husband, would rarely see those; a head-covering was required atall times.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 1140). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I settled on a silver ring with a scalloped [what’s “scalloped”?], pattern and tiny diamonds inlaid across the top. I liked its understated elegance and hoped that Gitty’s tastes weren’t dissimilar.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1182-1183). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Gitty and I were both now twenty-one, with two children; before long, we realized that we were into [should be two words: in to]  something we hadn’t prepared for.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1418-1419). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

The day before my interview, I stopped into [in to?] Men’s Wearhouse, down Route 59.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 2523-2524). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Our in-laws bought us a baby crib, but we also needed a buggy [what’s a buggy?], a stroller, a bureau, baby clothes— never-ending streams of soft pink ruffles, Onesies [why capitalized?] embroidered with befuddled-looking [how so?] teddy bears, stretchies with colorful ABC pyramids.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1455-1457). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

I ripped off a hangtag [questionable usage; hangtag normally refers to tag on merchandise] and stuffed it into my pocket.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Location 1469). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

All we needed, Gavriel said, was to fill out these sheets—“ rezemays,” he called them— and he tossed a pile of forms onto each of the tables. My friend Zundel, sitting next to me, looked at the sheets like a child studying a tax form: “What is this, rezemays?” Gavriel explained: In America, before you get a job, a company needs to know something about you. Rezemays, he said, save time for everyone involved. [I don’t see the point of spelling “resumes” “resemays”. If he means to highlight how it is pronounced differently among the Hasidim, it is barely the case. Even if it is, why is this important?]

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1479-1483). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Where we were “holding” was the specific passage, line, and word in the text of our Talmuds, which we were to know at all times by keeping our forefingers pressed against the small square letters, moving along as the rebbe led us through the jungle of dense, unpunctuated Aramaic text, the digest [how is the Talmud a “digest”? It is quite lengthy and does not spare words to make a point] of rabbinic discourse in the ancient Babylonian cities of Sura and Pumbeditha.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1553-1555). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

English teachers could shout, stamp their feet, blow their cheeks into a bright purple sheen [really?], but they could not lay a hand on us. Still, as was common knowledge among us students, English teachers were to be despised as purveyors of profanity—“ Aynglish, foy!” [why not “English”? and how is English profane in the present colloquial sense of the word (namely obscen)] went the refrain.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1615-1616). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

Whoosh, thwack. Other hand. Whoosh, thwack. The rest of the class looked on with profound boredom as our rebbe, his arm cantilevered [this expression falls flat, a hand extending from a body for the purpose of striking someone is just notr “cantilevered” – a term used in construction and fairly specific] across the air from his shoulder, swung his wooden rod up and down in an almost robotic motion, the rod swishing through the air and breaking its course on my palm while the rebbe, keeping time with his swing, issued the plaintive admonition: You. Thwack. Shall. Thwack. Not. Thwack. Profane. Thwack. This classroom. Thwack. With dirty images. Thwack, thwack, thwack.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1626-1629). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

For the next two weeks, I held not a rod or [correct: nor] a wire but a little green-and-yellow notepad, in which I marked down which student earned points for his team or incurred a penalty.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1677-1678). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

When Chaim Greenfeld whispered something to Shea Goldstein during mincha prayers, I could see Shea’s eyeballs bulging [really?] and his words hissing from between clenched teeth, “Shh, the rebbe is marking points!” Chaim Greenfeld quickly set his eyes back on his prayer book.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1680-1681). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

On Yom Kippur, the following are forbidden: Be-achileh u-veshtiyeh. Eating and drinking. U-virchitzeh. Bathing. U-vesicheh. Applying ointments. U-vene’ilas ha-sandal. Wearing shoes. U-vetashmish ha-mitteh. [all –eh endings should be –ah; this solecism serves no purpose].

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1698-1702). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.

“That last one isn’t important,” I said. “It won’t be on the exam.” Berri narrowed his eyes [“glowered” would have been much better], as if he were the teacher and I were the student, and he was calling me out for bad behavior.

Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Kindle Locations 1707-1708). Graywolf Press. Kindle Edition.